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1. |
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You are
Hurting me
Desire
turns to Death
So far
From Me
I can
Smell your breath
And it smells like
Daffodils
In a Garden
On the shores
Of Heaven
I sit
I feel
The cut
Of the knife
I sit
I watch
The Day
Turn To Night
And the nighttime
Brings hope
and disappointment
To the shores
Of Heaven
Why is the wind so mad today?
I’ll try and sing my pain away
but it comes back again
I drive
You away
With every false move
The more
I stay
The more you remove
Your desire
Once palpable
Is absent
From the shores
Of Heaven
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2. |
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Alibi
Want to Die
Get me one please
Life is tough
I’ve had enough
I want to leave
God Above
With No Love
I Can’t Believe
Life is Hell
A WishIng Well
It’s just a tease
Life is Pain
With No Gain
What is the Point?
Crazy Town
Gets Me Down
I hate this joint
I’m Afraid
Can’t Get Laid
Losing MY Mind
Isolate
Filled With Hate
Kill Me This Time
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3. |
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Everybody’s in their own special world
Only seeing part of the picture unfurled
Everybody’s in their bubble-Don’t take it personally
The cause of all the trouble
Is that everybody’s in their bubble
They’re in their bubble- Don’t take it personally
It’s about their bubble- It’s not about me
Everybody’s in their own special world
Everybody thinks they’re a boy or a girl
But they’re in their bubble- Don’t take it personally
It’s about their bubble- It’s not about me
So don’t get mad - Don’t get sad
They’re not bad-They’re all in their bubble
So understand – it’s not a plan – to threaten man
Or to make more trouble-The trouble is the bubble
Everybody in their bubble-Can’t see what they can’t see
Everybody in their bubble -Just sees part of reality
It’s about their bubble-Don’t take it personally
It’s about their bubble-It’s not about me
Everybody’s in their bubble – their own reality
Everybody’s in their bubble – has nothing to do with me
It’s about their bubble – don’t take it personally
They’re all in their bubble – everyone but me
Everyone but me
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4. |
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You say
I should give a shit
Cause we’re talkin’ politics
And you sa
I should give a shit
Cause the guys, they’ve got big dicks
And you say
I should give a shit
Cause if not, a lot of people will die
But I only give a shit
About what gets me high
You say
I should give a shit
Cause a lot of animals died to make it
And you say
I should give a shit
Cause it’s real man and you shouldn’t fake it
You say
I should give a shit
Cause Kim Kardashian does
But I only give a shit
About what gets me buzzed
And you say
I should give a shit who I vote for president
And you say
I should give a shit about this fuckin’ raise in rent
You say
I should give a shit
That both my parents have died
But I only give a shit
About what gets me high
I tell ya
Hatin’ gets me high
And masturbatin’ gets me high
and my obsession gets me high
Watchin’ you undressin’ gets me high
My fear and panic gets me high
Anything Satanic gets me high
All thoughts of suicide and death
get me so high
I’m outta breath
You say
I should give a shit about Afghanistan
And you say
I should give a shit about Unicef and Oxfam
And you say
I should give a shit when battered children cry
But I only give a shit about what gets me high
And thoughts of torture
Get me high
Fuckin’ some mortuary guy
And fame and fortune
gets me off
And I just love
to be the boss
my fear and panic
Gets me high
anything Satanic
Gets me high
All thoughts of suicide and death
Get me so high
I’m out of breath
You say
I should give a shit
About how Fox News lied
And you say:
I should give a shit
That the cat was euthanized
And you say
I should give a shit
About this Middle Eastern guy
But I only give a shit
About what gets me high
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5. |
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When I rise
When I speak
When I think
of you again
Makes me sad
Makes me smile
Makes me fall in love
with you again
Make me
feel the pain
Make me
sad again
Make me
reach for you
When I thought that I was through
with love
Over here
Over there
Over upside down again
I’ve lost my way
I can’t escape
I can’t figure it out again
Make me
feel alive
Make me
want to die
Make me
feel the hope
That all this pain
is all worthwhile
I can’t make sense
I’m a fool
I hear you laugh at me again
I’m unsure
Out of place
I’m confused
are you my friend?
Make me
feel the pain
Make me
sad again
Make me
reach for you
When I thought that I was through
with love
Want nothing to do with love
Nothing to do with love
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6. |
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Being with you is almost like
being alone
I pretend you’re on the other line
when I talk on the phone
Being with you is almost like
Never learning how to ride a bike
Being with you is almost like
being alone
I feel as if I’m in a movie
and I’m playing both parts
Playing in an English pub
and I’m all out of darts
Being with you is almost like
getting a black eye without the fight
Being with you is almost like
being alone
Where do words go
when I ask you?
To some secret vault?
Do they just bounce off?
bounce and get lost
Back into my fault?
Being with you is almost like
being alone
Being with you is chicken
without any bone
Being with you is almost like
getting a punch without a spike
Being with you is almost like
being alone.
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7. |
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The miracle that is
a beautiful girl
Dazzles and excites me
Delights me to no end
Beautiful girl
Will you be my friend
The miracle that is
a beautiful girl
You’re lovely and amazing
I’m gazing on a star
Beautiful girl
You’re perfect as you are
You live among the stars
You’re soul is super-charged
With light and love your glowing
With every power of knowing
You’re perfect as you are
You shine just like a star
You’re perfect as you are
Beautiful girl
The song of love
That dances
out of your soul
Like butterflies
they fill the room
Like fireflies
they light my gloom
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8. |
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Look at that man
Look at his face
He greets the room
with style and grace
But he's a deeply deeply deeply troubled man.
He jokes and laughs
with all his friends
But inside
contemplates the end
For he's a deeply deeply deeply troubled man
You wouldn't guess
To look at him
The depths of darkness
Behind that grin
He's a deeply deeply deeply troubled man
Life has taken
quite a toll
But his hell's largely
self imposed
For he's a deeply deeply deeply troubled man
But what the hell does he thinks he’s doing?
The only one that he's screwing
Is himself
himself...
Tortured Soul
Misunderstood
Going round
like it's all good
He's a deeply deeply deeply troubled man
He cuts himself
when he can
And yells inside
his head again
For He's a deeply deeply deeply troubled man
But what the hell
does he think he’s doing?
The only one that he's screwing
Is himself
himself...
So, Pray for him
Let him win
Speak softly
when you
speak to him
For he's a deeply deeply deeply troubled man
He's not nice
when he loses
He is brutal
when he boozes
He's a deeply deeply deeply troubled man
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9. |
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When I Think How Old I Am
I’d Have To Say
Five Or Six
When I Think How
Lucky I Am
There’s Nothing Broken
I Can’t Fix
What Am I To Do?
To Be Rid Of You?
I Am Made Of Rubber
You Are Made Of Glue
When I Think Of The Pain
I’ve Had
And To What Purpose
It Could Serve
Guess I’ve Had More Good
Than Bad
Guess I Just Got
What I Deserved
And I Don’t Want To
Do What I Must Do (but)
A Man Has To Do
What he's got to do
When I Think How Great I Am
I Think The Best Is Yet To Come
Will I Have To Leave My Old Friends?
Just Till This Manic Moment Ends
Moment Ends
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10. |
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I can only feel validation
When I know a man wants to fuck me
I’m completely lost in temptation
Don’t tell me I have to go home
I don’t want to be there all alone
I don’t feel alive unless I
Know someone’s undressing me with their eyes
I’m empty inside otherwise
Don’t tell me I have to go home
I don’t want to be there all alone
When I find you out
I want to save you so bad
You’re destroying me
But I can’t blame you….blame you…blame you…
Silence is more deadly than deadly
Feeling numb and feeling light headly
There’s no reason to leave the party
Don’t tell me I have to go home
I don’t want to be there all alone
When I find you out
I want to save you so bad
You’re destroying me
But I can’t blame you…blame you…blame you
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11. |
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Seeing you in the sky
as I gaze upon this cloud
Loving you is the why
I am sitting here out loud
Your breath
breathes life
into my veins
Without you
I’m just not the same
Life here
has no meaning
without your eyes beaming
The hope that I feel
when I see you
is teeming
Never felt so alive
as when you enter
my deep thoughts
Gives my life such a drive
and teaches me
what I need taught
Your face inspires
me to go on
Gives faith
to someone
who’s rather on
The hope
I have now
was without
for many years before
Sustains me
in a way
I can’t explain
gets me through
pain
I endure
I fly
past the lies
that the world
delivers daily
With you
by my side
I can face
the fear
of Hades
I’m blessed
you are here
for as long
as I love you
Forever
and a year
if I’m that lucky
to have you
If I’m that lucky to have you
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12. |
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How do I feel
At the end of the day?
I feel really sad
How do I feel
When my love is away?
I feel really sad
Why should I pry inside
I’ll only find confusion
Confusion, illusion
Best keep it down
I’ll take a meal
At the end of the day
I’ll try to heal
And get on with the play
but….
I feel really sad
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13. |
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I crave you
My body
aches for you
But I can’t do
what I’d like to do
Cause I’d never
cheat on you
But every night
my heart breaks
But I can’t
make a mistake
And fuck up
all that’s great
So I’ll have
to masturbate
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14. |
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Sometimes I feel sad
I get down upon myself
My self esteem is bad
And so’s My mental health
I’m feeling very fragile
My self esteem is low
I’m frightened of my shadow
My feelings need to show
Need to show
But my dad says
Fuck all of your feelings
Would you stop acting gay
Cause none of its appealing
And you’ll never get a girl that way
Girls don’t want a loser
Would you stop this cry for help
You don’t need to be Tom Cruiser
You just need to help yourself
And there is no decent girl out there
Who wants to be your mom
Stop acting like a victim
And be a man my son – He says
“Fuck all of your feelings”
Would you stop acting gay
Cause none of it’s appealing
And you’ll never get a girl that way
But I say
I don’t want a girl
That I can’t share myself with
My soul is like a pearl
I’m sorry, Do I sound selfish
He says
"Hide all of these feelings
And punch someone in the face"
He says
"Be a man and watch some sports
These feelings have no place
Have no place
In a real man"
There is no decent girl out there
Who wants to be your mom
Stop acting like a victim
And be a man my son – he says
Fuck all of your feelings
Would you stop acting gay
Cause non of it’s appealing
And you’ll never get a girl that way
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15. |
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Euthanasia on demand
I want a law
for euthanasia on demand
I want a law
that gives a guy
a helping hand
When his life he can’t stand
Death should be a legitimate life plan
Kill me
on command
Should be a right
in any health care plan
I pay a doctor
and he does what he can
To end my life
and when
He does so
as quickly and painless
as he can
A bullet
to the brain
is quick and easy
And should be
a legal claim
Service
you pay for
With the least
amount of pain
You might think
I’m insane but
I bet there’s plenty of you
who think the same
And want
Euthanasia on Demand
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16. |
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She’s got such gorgeous eyes
So big they hypnotize
Her skin has such a glow
Her walk has such a flow
She’s got that rack of lamb
She’s got those gorgeous gams
Her lips are red and full
She’s young and beautiful
But no matter how hot she is
There’s some guy out there who’s sick of her shit
She’s into metal bands
She’s got such gorgeous hands
Her hair is long and soft
She owns a Soho loft
She's got a killer smile
And such a confident style
She is the only one
Who's having any fun
But no matter how hot she is
There’s some guy out there who’s sick of her shit
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17. |
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Subway Love
it’s got me
again
Subway Love
and it always
ends
Subway Love
when I reach
my stop
Subway Love
can I please
get off?
Let’s hear it for Subway Love
Subway Love
Roosevelt Avenue
Subway Love
a fab fab
fabulous view
Subway Love
the Bedford
Stop
Hop
Subway Love
the chicks
are so hot
Let’s hear it for Subway Love
Subway Love
You look
but don’t touch
Subway Love
But don’t look
too much
Subway Love
she’s checking
you out
Subway Love
until she
starts to shout
Let’s hear it for Subway Love (EEK ! ))
Let’s hear it for Subway Love ( CREEP ! )
Let’s hear it for Subway Love ( HELP )
Let’s hear it for Subway Love ( POLICE !! )
Subway Love
I fall every day
Subway Love
I now know
I’m not gay
Subway Love
A crowded subway
Is no excuse
for hands
to go astray
Let’s hear it for Subway Love (EEK ! ))
Let’s hear it for Subway Love ( CREEP ! )
Let’s hear it for Subway Love ( HELP )
Let’s hear it for Subway Love ( POLICE !! )
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18. |
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To meditate on death
The fact that your alive
You only need one breath
One breath
At a time
The moment’s all we have
The now is all that’s true
The rest is all but death
There’s nothing left to do
There’s nothing left to do
The fact is
You’re alive
You’re not a verb
You’re a who
And the rest is all jive
It’s who you are that’s true
It’s not the things you do
So put it all away
Be here and now today
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19. |
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I might hate my past
I might hate myself
I may want to die tomorrow
But I'm good enough
For this moment
I am good enough
For today
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20. |
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You Are Special
You are special
You are unique
You have an important purpose on the earth
You are a leader
You are a friend
You’re here to organize a happy end
And while we’re here
Be of good cheer
Keep your enemies away
And friends near
While you’re away
Be happy and gay
And when you feel sad inside
Remember to say
You’re okay
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21. |
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I don’t know
If I meant much to you
Long ago
You might have liked me too
Now it’s a memory
As the pain’s leaving me
Half of me’s glad you’re gone
Half of me still loves your song
You should know
You meant the world to me
I Didn’t show
Nothing but insanity
What can I give you now?
Life has moved on somehow
Life is a memory
The future’s anxiety
Pull Me--- Push You
What can I
Say to make sense to you
I have tried
Done all I care to do
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22. |
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Evil isn’t supernatural
It’s part of nature’s way
People die everyday after all
From old age and decay
And justice is defined by
The victors and their allies
And freedom comes to those who
Had strength to win
And chose to
Pecking order kills the weaker ones
So goes nature’s plan
Pain inspires the weak to pick up guns
And massacre the man
The highest on the foodchain
There’s nothing left
But bloodstains
The struggle for survival
The lover kills his rival
Things must die for
Better things to grow instead
So life evolves
This implies that there is progress
Where there may not be some
Chaos may be the outcome
The answers are beyond us
The universe has conned us
God and Satan are a single one
Never to escape
Trapped together burning
Like the sun
In the arms of fate
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released September 9, 2020
